James Bland Gillikin
It may seem odd to share our story as one of hope and celebration after my husband, Bland Gillikin’s death due to Stage 4 Colon Cancer, but in reality, I have to celebrate our life together. When I tell you our life was perfect, I mean it. We were real soul mates who were also high school sweethearts. I loved Bland from the minute we met, and I can honestly say he loved me with all his heart. When our daughter Leah was born, our love for each other grew stronger. We had everything a couple could want,. We had a home, work that gave us a great life, travel, friends and family we adored. Our life for 18 years was one many others may only dream about.
Bland experienced weight loss, which he wanted, and an overall feeling of not feeling great just six months before his diagnosis. I thought he just did not feel well due to the death of both his parents and slight depression and general malaise. Maybe, looking back, I think we both had a sense of denial that anything could be wrong. After all, we were young, only 50 and 52, and how should we even question something wrong medically in our life?
A sense of urgency took over when I came back from a trip and Bland told me he had “ passed out” a couple of times and his abdominal pain had worsened. He looked terrible. I knew he had hidden how sick he really was. Was I too busy to see it? My instincts said we needed to be seen. It didn’t take 24 hours for a confirmation of STAGE 4 Colon Cancer. We were shattered. Our perfect world was rocked to the core. I sat in denial and disbelief. He told me, as always, it would be okay and we would get through it together.
In only three short weeks, our fight was over. He was strong, brave, and if love could have saved him, he would still be here. He died just three weeks after diagnosis. My world was shattered. My perfect life was now in a million tiny pieces I would not begin to put together. The love of my life and my perfect husband, as well as the my daughters perfect father was gone. He would never walk her down the aisle. He would not share with me our life-ever.
We did not even have a chance for chemotherapy or any other forms of care. How could this have happened? Everything was supposed to be okay, we had the perfect life? what just happened to us?
It took me months to even feel human and to begin to see light. The light I see now is one of hope. Hope that somehow our story of Bland’s life can impact others. I celebrate what a fine person, father, and husband he was and how I have to think his life was not ended to soon, only that it was cut too short.
What if he had routine screening at 50? What if we had gone to be evaluated three months earlier? What if genetics were a major factor in his cancer development?
These things Leah and I will never know. We only have to live knowing we loved each other every minute of our lives. We will always love him and he will always be a part of us.
I celebrate because I can use our story to help others. Don’t wait. Be screened. Don’t attribute symptoms to something else- let a provider know- you may need help.
Help us find a cure, we need one today. I can’t let this shatter another family. Bland, I will always love you.
Thank you for allowing us to share our story:
Saralyn and Leah Gillikin
wife and daughter of James Bland Gillikin